When someone suggests to you to: keep pushing forward. What do those words even mean and how can you tell if you’ve actually pushed forward?
When I suggest to others to keep pushing forward I have my own opinion of those words and what it looks and feels like to me. After reading this, you may or may not form your own opinion of what keep pushing forward means. Please understand that each person’s definition is may be different, because it is based on your own individual life experiences.
When I think of the words: keep pushing forward, I literally picture myself taking one foot and putting it in front of the other. It may sound simple, but trust me it’s not. It’s an uphill battle.
Just like a baby has to learn how to crawl before it can walk. You have to build up your strength to move towards having an improved mindset. You have to be willing admit there is hard work to be done, then reach out for tools to put in your toolkit, (I will talk about this more in later blog posts). Your toolkit will grow based upon the positive messages you feed your brain daily. Then before you know it, you’re shattering your comfort zone shackles (for more on comfort zone shackles click here).
Today I got a Facebook notification that actually proved to me I capable of pushing forward in life. Someones we may hear from others that they see the positive changes in you, but honestly that is not the norm (unless a therapist tells you). Anyway, I have just been made aware that Facebook has a way of showing you your past through previous photos and videos. This photo is proof that I needed to see with my own eye that change is possible.
I see a woman with so much sadness in her eyes. She is worn out physically and emotionally. The words “Woe Is Me” is written all over her face. The only reason why she took this photo was to post her weekly “Wrap Wednesday Look” on Instagram. But did she really feel like taking that photo? NO! Had she just shed tears? Possibly. Did she think she was worthy of happiness? Maybe. Maybe Not. Is her life rough? Yes. But did she continue taking positive steps to keep pushing forward in life? Yes she did.
So my message to you is: Keep Pushing Forward. You may not notice the change in a day, week, month, or year. But trust me, it WILL happen. If nobody else notices, forget them! Learn to start being your own cheerleader. Need help with that? Consider joining my Facebook Group: The Advocacy Garden by clicking here. If you have to be sassy about it in your thought self-talk, then do that! Set realistic goals for yourself, and try not compare yourself to others.
Now I know all of this is easier said this done, trust me I know. I still struggle with plenty daily. Some days are good and others are not. But I refuse to give up on my journey to happiness. God knows I have better within me. So it is up to me to keep telling myself that I CAN and WILL continue to keep pushing forward daily. I challenge you today to keep pushing forward.
So do me a favor. If you can relate to the blog post or know someone who needs a little motivation, share these words with them. Leave me a comment and let me know you read my message. And don’t forget to subscribe for messages of encouragement. Let’s push forward together!
You just found out the hair product you spent your hard earned money on doesn’t work for you. What do you do now? Well let me tell you. You remix that hair product!
If you currently have natural hair or are in your transitioning stages you will come across hair products that just don’t work for you. You know, that one particular hair product that claims to help with detangling, but instead leave your hair knotted.
There is always a hair product all over social media claiming to be just what you need to feed moisture into your thirsty curls, coils, and kinks. Instead when use it the product feels like it just striped the rest of the precious moisture you were trying to hold on to! Leaving your hair feeling dry as a bone. Don’t stress, you are just going to have to remix that hair product!
What Not To Do
First off, it’s a good idea to get in the habit of turning that bottle or jar around and reading the ingredients included in the hair product. Sometimes we get so star-eyed about getting the latest in hair product hype, that we shovel out our coins blindly. Then later, we realize we would’ve been better off throwing the money to the birds. Does that sound crazy? Well it is!
Just because the lady on that commercial, Instagram, or YouTube video said it works for her, and shows you that it works for her,
doesn’t mean it’s going to work for you darling.
Thanks to Google and wonderful blogs (like mine) there is a thing called research. We have to be willing to put down the wallet long enough to read information that is available right at our finger tips. Many hair product lines are now including the ingredients of their products on their websites. So why not take that information and run it through Google first. Being an informed consumer is better then being an impulsive one….well at least I think so!
When you see the popular ingredient: Dimethicone aka Silicone– Take note that per Shai Amiel “Silicone is really bad for curly hair because most curly hair is on the dry side. Silicones can slide off straight hair more than they can on curly hair. The silicone buildup will get stuck on the curls, weighing the hair down and causing more damage in the long run.” as quoted onCoveteur.com In the article The Truth About Silicone-Based Hair Products
So What Do I Do With The Hair Products I Already Purchased?
This is what you do. Remix that hair product! Here’s how: Simply add moisturizing oils and/or other ingredients to the hair products that don’t moisturize your hair the way you want.
Anyway give it a try. Here at OlenaRosanne we are always mixing up something. Don’t forget to check out previous blog posts for other ideas and DIY hair recipes.
I hope I gave you something to think about. It’s a great idea to think and do research before you buy. But if you’re like me, no ones perfect. Don’t get upset. There is a solution. Just remix that hair product Roses. Talk to you later.
Valentine’s Day is almost here. Are you going to be the one sitting around waiting for roses to be delivered to your door or desk? I’m going to need you to stop looking and wishing. Darling, you’re already a rose!
So yes, it’s nice to receive roses. Roses are beautiful flowers that come in a variety of colors and have their own distinctive scent. There is a high demand for them every Valentines Day. Even bro from down the block is selling them out his car or slanging them on the busiest street corner in town! It’s really that serious!
It doesn’t matter if they are long stemmed or short, we want roses because they are the supposed international sign of love. We go as far as hanging them upside-down to dry. Place them in-between book pages. Or even frame them as if this will prove we are loved. It’s the truth that I’m am even guilty of! But baby guess what you’re already a rose. So why go through all of that to keep one?
Are You One Of Them?
I used to be that girl who looked on in awe as roses were delivered to the a co-worker after co-worker’s desk. Sitting there looking from the corner of my eye, hoping and wishing the next delivery would be to my desk or doorstep next. I know I’m not the only one! Each time the the delivery person walked by, my feelings would turn more and more sour. Then negative self-talk took over. Am I not worthy of such a gift? What’s wrong with me? Did I not leave enough hints? Doesn’t he know roses would make me feel special? The list of questions in my head grew longer and longer each year.
You Are A Rose
Listen, you are already a rose. Before negative feelings begin to pop up in your head, I am going to need to need you to start working on changing your way of thinking. The roses you wish for are already within. So try telling yourself this instead:
God is love and He placed love in my heart before birth.
I am one-of-kind and no one can duplicate this fabulousness.
My life is a blessing to me, and those I allow to be in it.
I woke up today. It’s God’s way of telling me I still have another day to blossom.
Darling You’re Already A Rose
Now that you know you’re already a rose maybe you won’t get so bent out of shape if you don’t receive roses this Valentine’s day. Remember that YOU are the rose so hold your head high!
Join Other Roses
I hope you consider subscribing and joining the other dozens of roses in my Rose Garden. Don’t forget to give this blog post a like, leave me a comment, and share this across social media. I want everyone to know their a rose too!
Have you ever wondered why your skin itches when shampoo runs from your hair to your body? Read further, and I will tell you why washday and showering don’t mix.
What do you think of when you hear or see the word washday, wash-day, or #washday? Most of us immediately think of our hair right? Right! Or maybe not.
Surprisingly, there are still folks in the Natural Hair Community who don’t understand the word, hashtag, or just don’t think there should
be a day put aside for the washing, conditioning, and styling their tresses. So, before we get into why washday and showering don’t mix, I need you to
Wake up sis
Catch up on the many blog posts I’ve done regarding the importance of washday.
Ok, now that we are all caught up, I need for you to think about about why in the world I would write a blog post on how washday and showering don’t mix.
How many times have you watched a commercial or YouTube video with a particular shampoo being promoted and the woman is in the shower? It’s all over the TV and social media. It’s become the norm, but is it healthy>
Now I don’t know about you, but I have sensitive skin. Most shampoos for adults are not formulated as body washes. At least none of the ones I’m familiar with. If you know of any, then let a sista know.
So why are we allowing the shampoo to run down our bodies? Sure you can lean forward or backwards in the shower, but that is not going to completely stop the ingredients of that shampoo,
conditioner, or co-wash from running down your face and body. I’m sorry it’s just not! So, why do we continually irritate our skin for the sake of killing two birds with one stone? Sis, it ain’t that serious. I’ll say it, and say it again, showering and washday don’t mix!
Why washday and showering don’t mix
Shampoo is meant for your head, particularly your scalp.
Shampoo will strip your body of its natural oils
Chemical allergies are real, and they don’t feel good.
The skin on your scalp is different then your face and body
Irritated, burning, or dry skin is not happy skin.
So, if the above reason’s have not convinced you washday and showering don’t mix, at least I can say I tried. I am strong on self-care and am important part of taking care of yourself, is taking care of the body you were given!
As we age our skin ages, holding on to the beloved moisture we cherish so much becomes more difficult. So why make the situation worse by allowing products that don’t belong on our skin, on it.
Why not do what I suggested in my recent blog post titled, Cold Rinse in the Winter? Why not just shower your hair when you are OUT of the shower. Trust me is saves the skin on your body. Also make those cold rinses on your hair way easier.
You might be giving me the side-eye right now. Thinking to yourself, “What on earth is Comfort Zone Shackles?” I promise, if you continue reading further I will explain to you what Comfort Zone Shackles are, and how you can break free from them.
I think most of us would agree with this definition. Your Comfort Zone is a place or feeling where you are most comfortable. It’s the things or surroundings we have come accustomed to. We feel safe in our Comfort Zone because it is familiar, routine, and it’s something we don’t have to put much thought into. It feels good, so why would we ever want to come out of our Comfort Zone? Well, when you add the word Shackles to it, it takes a nice and innocent word and turns it into a scary one!
Nothing about the word Shackles is positive in my option. I immediately think of slavery which will forever be a sore subject for generations to come! Let’s delve more into this awful word!
What are Shackles?
According to Dictionary.com There are various definitions, but the ones that stand out for me are:
torestraininaction,thought,etc.,asbyrestrictions;restrictthe freedom of
Comfort Zone Shackles are anything in your normal routine that keep you from moving forward in life. They keep you from growing as a person. Comfort Zone Shackles seem innocent initially because
there is no fear of the unknown involved. It covers us with a security blanket that may be warm and cozy, but it doesn’t allow growth! It’s really that strong!
Comfort Zone Shackles want you to stay right where you are. They don’t believe you are capable outside of it’s confines. Let’s keep it real, Comfort Zone Shackles play you for a fool! While you are cozy enjoying the comfort, they are in the background dumbing you down.
Comfort Zone Shackles can be things or people:
A dead-end career – A career that no longer challenges you. You show up each day like a robot in an assembly line. All because you are scared of being a newbie in another career.
A significant other – That arm candy you have been dealing with for years that looks good on the outside, but has nothing going on on the inside. You haven’t dropped off the dead weight yet
because you are attached to that person, can’t see yourself without that person, scared to be single, or that person is physically or emotionally abusive. Filling your head up with lies.
A feeling – A feeling of anxiety or depression that continually whispers, “You can’t do that!” or “Why even try?” The feelings keep you isolated because you are scared of being let down again by people around you. You are so wrapped up in your negative feelings of despair that you have no idea which way is up or down. And you don’t have the strength to even try to get out.
It’s Time to Break The Comfort Zone Shackles!
As I live and breath, I am here to tell you You Can break those Comfort Zone Shackles! It all begins with changing your self-talk. Negative self-talk has you believing lies! It has you scared. Has you believing you’re unworthy, unable, ugly, hopeless, and sad. It has you believing you are alone in this world with no one who can relate to your experiences. Ain’t nothing but a pack of lies!
You Are Able! So begin to tell yourself you are able. You Are Worthy!So begin telling yourself you are worthy. As I found out personally there are MANY people out there who can relate and are eager to have someone to talk to. So begin reaching out, in your community or online. There are wonderful blogs out there that are dedicated to putting a smile on your face or reminding you to love yourself. There are whole communities of people struggling with the same hurt and pain you are. If you don’t feel like talking, or typing, then I urge you to read. Feed your brain with positive seeds of healing and watch as they begin to grow. Before you know it Comfort Zone Shackles will no longer be a stronghold.
Tell yourself you are royalty. Hold your head high and be proud of what you have accomplished in life, no matter how big or how small. Have Faith that the Comfort Zone Shackles WILL fall off! And get ready! Those Comfort Zone Shackles will fall off baby!! One by one. Step by Step, as you break out of your Comfort Zone Shackles. You can do it!!
So What Do You Think?
Do you fill encouraged now? Are you pumped up! Do you realize you are way stronger than you think? If the answer is yes, let me know. Like this post, comment, share, and subscribe. You are also welcome to check out my Facebook Group: The Advocacy Garden a small community of hope, motivation, and education. Talk to you later Roses!
Winter is the time to wear chunky sweaters, drink hot cocoa, and lounge in front of the fireplace. Sounds nice huh. What doesn’t sound nice is conditioning your hair then having to do a cold rinse in the winter.
OK, let me start from the beginning. Picture your current washday routine. Normally we wash our hair using warm or hot water right? As we should. Warm or hot water opens up the cuticles of each hair strand.
Per Wikipedia :The hair cuticle is the outermost part of the hair shaft. It is formed from dead cells, overlapping in layers, which form scales that gives the hair shaft strength and provide protection for it.
When the hair cuticles are open, it allows the shampoo or co-wash to wash away any dirt or build-up on our hair and scalp. It also allows the conditioner to get down deep into each hair strand.
So why do a cold rinse? Do we really have to do a cold rinse in the Winter?
I battled with this on my last wash day because I have been fighting a cold. I dreaded the thought of it first off being cold outside. Secondly I currently had a cold., and third I normally do a cold rinse on my hair after conditioning. I mean…was it really necessary? I will let come to your own conclusion on doing a cold rinse in the winter.
Closes hair cuticle
Locks in moisture
Gives hair shine
Cuts down on frizz
Water doesn’t have to be cold. Cool water is also acceptable
It’s super refreshing in the summer
Gives hair and overall healthy appearance
Cold/cool water can be uncomfortable
My Opinion on doing a Cold Rinse In the Winter:
It’s my opinion that doing a cold water rinse is a smart choice all year round as part of a healthy hair care regimen.
If your still not convinced due to it being uncomfortable, then try doing what I do. Purchase a detachable shower head. I have had mine for over 10 years now.
Let me tell you it’s a life-saver! Detachable shower heads are convenient for multiple reasons,, and are easy to install and detach when needed.
Try waiting until you are out of the shower and dry to rinse out your conditioner. Just use a detachable shower head and bend down over your bathtub or sink to do the cold rinse. That way, the cold water runs straight into the bathtub or sink instead of down your body.
It’s never to later to make changes to you natural hair regimen, so give it a try. Trust me, once you get used to it, it will just be another part of your routine.
So are you doing cool or cold rinses on your hair? Why or why not? Let me know and don’t forget to like, comment, share, and subscribe.
What does the TV show Living Single, and being natural have to do with one another? Did you know that cast of the show were all natural haired divas during the 90’s? Well read further and I will tell you more about it.
During the early 90’s I was a shy, black, teen girl trying to survive high school. I grew up in a poor family so I made it my mission to get a job as soon job as soon as possible, so I could buy the things I wanted. Then at the age of 15 I finally got one! Ya’ll, you couldn’t tell me nothing! I could now buy all the clothes, eyeliner, and lip gloss I wanted! But, the best thing about work was I could finally start dabbling in some of the up-to-date hair styles I wanted to try. Yes indeed. I would spend hours in the mirror slicking, curling, and braiding my hair. Just because I was shy, didn’t mean my hair couldn’t look good!
Fast forward to 1993. One of the best years of my life. I graduated from high school and then later on that year found out I was pregnant with my first son. Yes ma’am, yes sir, I was on a roller coaster right of emotions.
During the summer of 1993 was when the TV show Living Single came on air. Living Single immediately became one of my favorite shows. Who could resist an intelligent cast of young, black, positive, trendy, and empowered individuals. With all the gang activity that was going on during that period of time, it was nice to cut on the TV see black folks actually laughing and not fighting one another.
What also caught my eye was the beautiful hairstyles these women were wearing. I was like a kid in a candy store trying to mimic their styles on my own head. The best thing about it was, each cast member was rocking their natural hair long before it became the “It” thing again.
Let me break it down by cast member:
Khadijah James (Queen Latifah) – Got her hair pressed and flat ironed on a regular basis. Her hair was so straight and bouncy we all thought she had a perm. But no, her hairstylist just had major skills!
Synclaire James (Kim Coles) – Had micro-braids that looked like they were flowing from her scalp. Many blessings to her hair stylist who kept her hair fresh to deaf at all times and left her edges intact!
Regina “Regine” Hunter (Kim Fields) – She had every wig imaginable! She was the master of protective styles. But, did you know she had beautiful locs underneath the whole time!
Maxine Shaw (Erika Alexander) had yarn braids that framed her face perfectly. I used to stare hard at the screen trying to figure out how they were so perfect, and looked like locs at the same time.
Kyle Barker (T.C. Carson) – Had locs and through-out the years we got to follow his loc journey.
Overton Wakefield Jones (John Henton) – Was bald and beautiful!
So there you have it. The cast of Living Single were a major influence on the Natural Hair Community way back then and are still an influencing us now thanks to Hulu streaming their show! So if you’ve never had a chance to experience these game changers in action, here is your chance.
With that said, I’m signing off for now so I can begin my Living Single Marathon.
Oh, don’t forget to
like, comment, share and subscribe! Talk to you later Roses!